As you observe your thoughts you will notice negative ones popping up. When you see them you can then address them however sometimes you may not even be aware of your negative thoughts.
6 Main Types of Negative Thinking
The next time you feel badly take a close look at your assumption and beliefs about the current situation that is presenting itself. Ask yourself if your beliefs are of the following:
All or Nothing Thinking:
Are you using words such as everyone, no-one, everything, nothing, all, nothing, most, least etc…. If this is you then change these words to something less extreme – it is very likely that your situation is not as extreme as you are believing.
Are you describing future events in a negative manner. Are you concluding that a negative outcome is assured or expected? If this is you remember that you are NOT a Fortune Teller. You really have no idea what will or will not happen. Since you cannot guarantee any outcome to be 100% certain then you have a choice of what you want to focus on – Positive or Negative. Knowing it’s your choice gives you some distance from your negative conclusions and you can come up with counter points which are less extreme.
Are you focusing on the negative aspects of a current situation? Are you someone that scans for faults or deficiencies with your situation? This is your opportunity to focus on something a little more positive. Every situation has both positive and negative aspects and it’s your choice what you want to focus on.
Are you assuming what people are thinking about you or the situation? Have people actually said anything out loud or are you pretending that you understand what they want or need or think? This is your opportunity to find out for sure that the real deal it – ASK someone if you want and if you do not then focus on what you actually know and NOT what you are assuming to know.
Are you someone who is constantly thinking they should do this or that. Are you living your life based on what you think others think you must do and thus you are thinking that you indeed SHOULD do something. This is your opportunity to give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling and do what you want to do. You can indeed start to allow yourself to put yourself first.
Are you one that makes general negative statements about yourself? Do you say things like “I am a loser”, “I am not worthy”, “I am ugly”, “I am not nice” etc… This kind of general thinking is extreme and when you notice this type it gives you the opportunity to give more detail to these observations and focus on some positive aspects about your situation
In all of these types of thinking you can see that it’s the polarizing assumptions that are causing you to incorrectly focus on the negative. When you think like the examples above you box yourself into a tiny way of thinking and thus have no room to feel better because your thinking has no room to be better.
Give yourself some space in your assumptions and allow yourself to focus on less extreme aspects about your situation. When you think and believe better you will feel better – ALWYAS.
Ask Yourself WHY? – 5 Times
Once you have noticed some negative thoughts/beliefs ask yourself “Why do I believe that?” or “Why is that important?” Take that answer and then ask yourself the same questions again. Keep doing this for a few more rounds of questions and you will see yourself uncover more and more underlying beliefs that are leading you to making false assumptions.